Geisha
by beberaggy
Summary: SS,set in traditional Japan. Sakura was a geisha before being sold to the Li family. Next she managed to loose her memory :S
1. Prologue

Prologue  
  
Seated on an upright stool, with a straight back and exquisite posture, the young girl looked curiously at all the make up carefully set out on the desk in front of her. Looking into the mirror at the reflection of the older girl behind she wanted to ask so many questions to understand what her future would be. Seeing the curiosity radiating from her young green eyes, the elder of the two started to speak. "Don't worry Sakura, you'll be trained soon. Then you'll be doing your own hair and won't need me." "But I'm nearly eleven, I was told I wouldn't attend school until at least twelve." "You've been living here with us for nearly nine years now and have been able to observe our lives a lot more than any others would get to do, even when they do turn twelve. Plus, you've learnt all the traditional song and dance. Your playing needs a bit more work but I'm sure you'll be chosen for your dancing. Mother will let you start early as you are already so far advanced. It will come off well on her behalf. Do you want me to show you the make up?" The beaming smile was all the encouragement needed as the white powder box was opened and brushed onto the already pale skin of the child. Waiting patiently to see the finished result, the girl shut her eyes as eyeliner and eye shadow was applied. When she next opened them, she was finished and stared in amazement at the reflection she saw. Pale face, dark eyes, red lips. "Perfect, now you look the part. My own personal little geisha." Hearing these words spoken by the woman she admired filled with joy knowing she would soon be just like her. This was the only life she knew and was so excited to soon be allowed to perform like those older than her. Rising off the chair, she turned and bowed, palms together, before starting to skip and dance around the room with the steps she knew so well that her body flowed so naturally. Looking on from the door, 'mother's' face formed a smile, both from pride and happiness. The girl was so mature for her age, yet still as innocent and vibrant as a young child ought to be. It was true that she was ready for training. 


	2. Chapter One: Konabe Flower Tea

Chapter One: Konabe (Flower Tea)  
  
For the first time, Syaoran joined the other males of the Li Clan at a teahouse in town. He found the place interesting with a style of art and decoration he hadn't seen before, or even studied during the extensive and expensive education his family had given him. The speech his mother had given him earlier was still going round in his head, going over and over the reason to way he was actually here.  
  
"It's time for you to start to understand the responsibility that will come to you as Clan Leader. Tonight you will go with the Elders and learn about the duties that will be placed on you in the future."  
  
"This is what I'm going to have to sit though every week?" he sighed to himself. They had only just got their meal but he had stopped listening to their conversation long ago. At least now he could concentrate on eating to pass the time, even though he knew that they never normally returned home until late. "Do they really just sit here talking for all that time?" Pondering on that thought for a second, he did not notice that the Elders were waiting for him to answer. He hadn't even realised they were talking to him. A purposeful cough drew his attention back to the table. His father's eyes shone with a tint of anger but soon softened.  
  
"Syaoran, you really should pay attention. It may seem boring now but it is important that you learn soon. The responsibilities of Clan leader are great and the more preparation you have, the easier it will be when the power is passed on to you." Syaoran nodded and reluctantly started to listen as they continued.  
  
It took at least an hour until the Elders were also growing tired from business. This brought a sigh of relief from Syaoran, although he didn't realise that it still wasn't time to leave. One of the Elders raised his arm to draw the attention of a woman that had been serving them. "Finally they're asking for the bill" He didn't know how wrong he was. If only he could hear that the Elder was in fact asking the plump, stern looking woman for haizen.  
  
"Yes, I would be grateful for the usual geisha's for my guests. I would also like someone for a new member. He is only fifteen so if we could have one his age." The woman was hesitant in replying. "Sir, you know that they are not properly geisha's until sixteen. It would not be proper for them to mingle with customers." The Elder didn't react to this at all as he knew she would let him have what he wanted. It only took a few seconds of silence before she continued to say, "Well, actually, there is one, named Konabe. She's not fully fledged but she has finished all her studies. Started early you see. Plus, she was trained by Kima, and has just turned fifteen. She'll be perfect." "Very good. Hopefully they can join us before the entertainment starts." "All but the young one sir. She'll be performing along with the others. I could arrange another for you, but she is the best, and up to the standards that you're used to." The woman hoped that he would not make her chose another. After all, none of the others were ready for a meeting like this, and she was worried about how they would act around such important clients. "Fine. We'll wait. The others will be over soon though I hope." Nodding the woman hurried off to find the required girls. 


	3. Chapter Two: Cherry Dances

Soon most the males around the table had girls sitting with them and Syaoran couldn't help but stare. Their make-up was layered on so thickly, and their hair tied up really tight, with all of them having the same style, he was intrigued. He had already been told that another girl would be coming over to join him soon which just increased his determination to leave, although he had to admit he was filled with curiosity.  
  
All eyes in the tea house had gradually turned to a small raised area where young apprentices were performing a variety of tradition dances, although the chatter amongst the customers had not stopped completely. One of the dances came to an end as six girls made their way from the stage and the lights dimmed down. It was a couple of minutes before the music for the next piece started. It started off barely audible and the talking came to a halt as people strained to hear. Now their attention was drawn to the stage, they saw a central blue light come up, flooding the stage in that single colour as the soft music continued.  
  
Anticipation grew to a point of giving up, but just before the audience grew bored and looked away, a small slim figure glided onto the stage. Behind her drifted the silk material of her dress as she gracefully turned and moved with the rhythm of the music. Following the music, she fastened her movements to keep with the growing beat. Her dance was non traditional, called a cherry dance, which she had created herself. Mixing the different styles she had learnt, she had created movements that merged easily into one another, flowing across stage, all eyes watching, including Syaoran.  
  
The blue light filled his eyes. Even her skin seemed to have a slight blue tint radiating in the dark, lightened by the silver of her kimono. It reminded him of water flowing as her gentle curves moved around; ice glistening as she shone through the darkness; and snowflakes falling as they danced around you, gliding over your skin, touching his cheek with warmth.  
  
His eyes followed every move as she moved to the front of the stage, finishing her piece. As the last beat hit the drum skin, the full beam of bright light hit her face, and her eyes looked straight at him. The intense green captured him and he froze in their gaze. Perfectly still, she was like a photograph, and as soon as her eyes closed in a blink, she had looked away and was leaving the stage. But he was still there, and still watching that spot where she had been.  
  
"Konnichiwa," she bowed to the customer. At first he was annoyed to be interrupted. His thoughts were still consisting of the girl from the stage, and he was still looking on at where their eyes had met. However, when her turned to be introduced his companion for the night, Konabe, it turned out to be the same set of eyes. 


	4. Chapter Three: Arigato

Chapter Three: Arigato  
  
She smiled and bowed towards the young chestnut haired boy, "Arigato". Looking at the envelope he had just handed her, Konabe was amazed by the intricate design of cedar trees embossed in gold leaf. Embedding in the picture, lay two letters spelling out his family name: 'Li'.  
  
Twenty minutes later, alone in her room, she slid her finger under the back of the envelope as to not damage it in any way before she peered inside. Sliding the notes out, she felt kind of guilty for taking money for being friendly, even though she had been taught that it was normal.  
  
"It's only a tip," she told herself. "He didn't have to if he didn't want to. Then again, if he hadn't then maybe it would have meant he didn't enjoy my company! So I should be glad he did." As she thought aloud she spread out the notes in her hand to find.  
  
"FIFTY THOUSAND YEN!"  
  
As soon as she recovered from the room, she ran to the next room in search of her "big-sister", Kima. The tall slim girl sat elegantly on the edge of her bed, combing her long hair after it had been up all day.  
  
"Konabe! Tell me then, how was it? What did. wait a minute, why are you so pale?" Lost for words, the younger of the two held out her hands to reveal the money she had received. "Whoa! You got yourself a good one there."  
  
"How can you not be more disturbed by this? It's far too much. I've never heard of anyone getting this much, not that I know what a normal tip is but still, it can't be this much. What if it was an accident? Should I return it?" "Calm down. I must admit that it is a lot, especially for your first time accompanying someone, but it has been know." Now finished with the comb, Kima rose calmly and walked over to her mirror, perching lightly on the stool in front of it.  
  
"But, what if he expects something. well, something more?" In the reflection of the mirror, Kima could see a pair of emerald eyes watering up with nervousness which was unusual for Konabe. Ever since she had been living in the teahouse with the other girls she had always been the lively spirit, permanently singing and dancing, and most of all, her eyes always shone with an inner happiness that no one could touch. Moving over on the stool slightly, Kima patted the space next to her, encouraging Konabe to join her. As the young girl sat, the other girl faced her, admiring her innocence in the situation.  
  
"Don't worry," Kima said as she swept a piece of Konabe's stray hair behind the girl's ear. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Most the time these rich guys have more money than sense. They throw it around like there's no tomorrow. The money is yours, spend it as you wish."  
  
"Are you sure? How could they give that much money away? It can't be right?"  
  
Kima just smiled at this. "Don't believe the horror stories you hear, like from Naru and Ammy, they exaggerate some much to scare the apprentices. It's true that sometimes a customer may give more, expecting something, but it's very rare. Even if they did, all you have to do is say no. Normally, at most, they are just trying to become your Oniisan."  
  
"Oniisan? Like Hideki is to you?"  
  
"That's right, Hideki is my Oniisan. All it means is that he's my financial support and gives me money for clothes and luxuries while I accompany him when he comes to the tea house." Standing up, Kima ushered Konabe to do the same and they headed towards the door.  
  
"Get some sleep now. If you get up early, I'll go into town with you before your lessons." Konabe thanked Kima with a hug before returning to her room.  
  
Note: Sorry to anyone that doesn't like me calling her Danna, "Oniisan". I know it means big brother but from what I read about Geisha's, they sometimes refer to them as Oniisan as they are looking after the Geisha. They pay for expenses but they are not their pimps as Geisha's are not prostitutes. If it's wrong, sorry. 


	5. Chapter Four: Gardens of Sakura

Chapter Four: Gardens of Sakura  
  
In her room the next evening, Konabe sat with a small light to illuminate her desk and a new notebook. She had spotted it in the window while out clothes shopping with Kima and a few others. It was the cover that had caught her eye as it seemed to be plain and pale blue in colour, but as the light landed on it in a certain way, a delicate pattern was noticable, shimmering in a different shade of blue, outlining a single Cedar tree in the bottom right corner. Straight away it reminded her of the envelope she had received the money in. Money that she was now spending. That made it seen all the more an appropriate thing to buy.  
  
As soon as she had finished her lessons that day, Konabe had started writing, and now the first part of her book was filled with her thoughts. She always had so many dreams in her head and it was those thoughts that kept the constant glitter in her eyes. A couple of years before, she used to tell the others around her but stopped as the older girls gradually started to mock her ideas as false hope. Choosing the life of a geisha meant that they would never marry and also very unlikely to ever find 'true love' - the two things Konabe wished for most. Taking their comments to heart, she started doubting her own ideals and everything she ever believed in, thinking of them as fiction like the others. But sometimes they felt so real that she could never forget them. Her dreams were so persistent. Occassionally she had started to tell the younger girls her stories again but was once again warned of misleading them and passing on her ficticious hope. This left her with writing as her only form of release and now she finally had a place to keep her thoughts.  
  
[Extract] The sweet scent of cherry blossoms awoke my senses, leading me to open my eyes and look out upon the vast landscape ahead of me. The garden somehow felt familiar. In one way I felt like I had never seen the array of flowers and trees before, that lead up to the arched Sakura tree entrance of a complex maze of gardens, but at the same time it seemed so memorable. Also friendly and inviting.  
  
Closing my eyes once again I am once again greeted but the fresh wet smell of dew settling on an early spring morning. The breeze gldes over my clothes, softly brushing against my smooth bare legs. It seems like all my senses have been enhanced now that I had closed off my view.  
  
My heart started to beat faster, the sound pounding in my ears, as I realised I was scared to reopen my eyes incase I found the whole scene to be gone and it had all just been in my imagination. I managed to work up the courage to and as my pupils adjusted to the sunlight, I looked again upon the gardens belows to reassure myself that it was real.  
  
As much as I loved seeing the gardens, I knew it would all be over soon as this was the point in my dream where I usually woke up. Luckily, last night was different.  
  
While my eyes focused on something in the distance, I started to shut them again, to picture myself over there. Caught up in this daydream, I felt warm sweet breathe across the base of my neck. At first I was too shocked to move, but before I could even think about what was happening, a smooth reassuring voice whispered softly in my ear, "come on".  
  
Suddenly my hand was taken hold of in a firm but reassuring grip and I followed him as we ran together into the gardens.  
  
The next thing I knew, we were near the back of the gardens, the place I had tried to picture mtself at before. I hadn't been able to see much of this part when I had the wider view of the landscape but seeing it now made up for it. A stream trickled along the base of a small raised platform that we sat on, shaded by one lonely tree that centered this section of the garden.  
  
From behind, his arms were wrapped securely around me, providing me with both warmth and comfort.  
  
"All this is for you."  
  
As he told me this, I realised I still hadn't seen his face. Slowly turning, my eyes started refocusing and I found myself looking straight at a reflection of myself - hair slightly ruffled and a shocked expression while I lay in my bed where I had just woken up from my dream.  
  
That was the first time the dream had ever continued and I wasn't sure if I was glad to know more or upset to now be feeling this sudden sense of loss to someone I had felt so attached to even though he was only a figment of my dream. All I could do was hope for the story to continue next time I was asleep so that I might actually have a chance to put a face to the beautiful, comforting voice that spoke to me.  
  
[End of extract]  
  
Kima's head appeared around the edge of the door just as Konabe closed the book and rested the pen by it's side.  
  
"Are you nearly ready?"  
  
Seeing Konabe only just start to reach for her hairbursh, Kima sighed and made her way into the room to help the younger girl prepare for the evening ahead.  
  
"Remember you won't be performing tonight. The Li family have requested your company again and are arriving much earlier than usual."  
  
Kima smiled as she saw Konabe looking down towards the book she had purchased earlier.  
  
"With another tip like the last one, you'll be able to buy a lot more of those. I'd keep it safe though, you know how nosey the others can get."  
  
Taking Kima's advice, Konabe placed the book into a small treasure chest that sat on her table, locked it, and placed the key on a small delicate chain around her neck. If people didn't like her sharing her stories, then she would happily keep them to herself. 


	6. Chapter Five: Oniisan

"You wanna hear about me? About what I think?" Konabe started off shocked at the request from Syaoran. She was excited by the fact that someone wanted to listen to her for a change, but then some doubt started to set into her mind and she questioned, "Why?"  
  
"What do you mean, why?"  
  
"Sorry, I'm so used to hearing people telling me to stop dreaming. It's rare to have someone to talk to about anything, but I guess that's why you're here - company and all. I've never really had to accompany someone before you and from living in a house full of girls and females, I had never really thought about what types of things there were to talk about at an actual dinner meeting. But me? Sorry, it still seems weird to me that you want to know. Oh god, now I'm rambling on and on."  
  
"Calm down" Syaoran motioned toward her, placing his hand on her arm to get her attention after she had turned away slightly to hide her embarrassment.  
  
As soon as she felt the gentle gesture, she looked towards him to be greeted by a welcoming smile. Even though he hadn't said much, his eyes were asking her to continue as he waited to hear about her.  
  
She gave in to her doubts, "What would you like to know?"  
  
"Well, where do I start? Let me think. how did you become a geisha?"  
  
"I'm not actually a geisha yet, I'm still training. You can't actually become a geisha until at least sixteen. I've been training for years though so shouldn't have to wait long after my sixteenth birthday. Normally, I wouldn't even be allowed out on the house floor serving, let alone accompanying, but you were a special case."  
  
His smile widened, "how so?"  
  
"Your guardians of course. They asked for someone closer to your age and made arrangements."  
  
Slightly disappointed by this answer, Syaoran changed the subject. "You still haven't answered my question."  
  
"Oh, that, well. I'm not to sure how I ended up at the tea house really. Other girls have arrived for different reasons - their parents didn't have enough money to support them so sold them to the tea house, some were orphans, and a rare few came from choice. I know I've been here since I was about two. Once I questioned Kima about my family but she just asked if knowing would cause more pain. So, here I am."  
  
"Don't you ever wonder about your family? Who they are? Where they might be?" His smile had gone and he was now more sympathetically as he looked at Konabe.  
  
"I do dream about them." Her voice trembled as emotions started to escalate and her head hung low as she started to speak.  
  
"There are to reoccurring dreams I have, one is about them. At least, I think it's them. it's about some sort of family.  
  
~~*~~  
  
[Flashback]  
  
The small house stood alone and was hidden slightly behind a grove of trees, decorated with spots of ivy that climbed towards the windows. The surrounding area had also been keep tidy and cared for, with fire wood piled neatly to the side of the house and an arch of wisteria shadowing the door.  
  
Everything gave off the sense of a loving home and pleasant family. It felt like at any moment, laughter would be heard from a playing child while the smell of sweet home cooking would be rising from the kitchen stove before a caring mother voice would ring out calling the family to dinner. Even though it was far from expensive but was rich in many other attributes.  
  
However, no noise was heard and no aroma stimulated the senses. The rooms were dimly lit and shadows danced on the walls from the flickering of candlelight. It still looked homely and inviting at this point, but instead of being able to enter, two people stepped outside.  
  
Then the atmosphere changed. The gentle breeze got stronger, becoming a rainy wind that disturbed the clothes and hair of the couple. The whole scene started to drain of colour and the expressions of distress became clear.  
  
The woman was pale faced and half hidden behind the handkerchief she held to her cheek, leaving on her watery, swollen red eyes in view.  
  
The man was trying to hide his grief as he comforted his wife by holding her close, but it was his eyes also that betrayed him. They seemed glazed over but behind them the agony was clear. It had become a picture of sadness and loss.  
  
~~*~~  
  
"I doubt it really is any kind of memory as I was two when I arrived at the tea house and I have no recollection of that. Maybe it's just a hope, that somewhere I do have a family. people that were sad to loose me. Also. hoping that they did loose me for a perfectly good reason and not given me up on a whim. What am I talking about? Who would give up a child on a whim?"  
  
"It's alright." Syaoran had turned his chair to face her full on some time earlier and now took both her hands in his own. "I'm sorry to cause you such pain. If I had known I never would've asked."  
  
He could tell that Konabe was on the verge of crying, letting it all out and telling him more but suddenly she blinked a few times, cleared her throat and sat up straight. "It was my fault. I never should have let my emotions overrule me like that. It won't happen again."  
  
Shocked and saddened slightly by her sudden lack of feelings, Syaoran wanted to explain that it was ok to cry and that it was ok to talk about things like this. things that were so important to her. Then, if she did not want others to hear her speak or see her cry, he would hold her close. protecting her from painful memories; out of sight of others who may judge her show of emotions; and mostly, let her know he was there for her.  
  
However, he too had codes of conduct that he would not cross and found it improper to even be thinking about taking this girl into his arms. This is why he understood her sudden readjustment of character.  
  
Not everything about Konabe had changed. Although he knew she was still sad inside where the memories kept replaying themselves over and over in her head, Konabe's sweet smile still showed him that she hadn't shut herself off from him completely.  
  
"How about you?" She questioned after a few moments of silence. "May I ask why someone so young should be at a meeting here?"  
  
Syaoran explained his life to Konabe. Not in the same detailed way that she talked about things, but more bluntly and to the point. He explained how his family was very important in china - they handled a lot of trade and finances, travelled to meet with clients, owned property which they lend out to workers and protected a lot of the surrounding areas from whatever may arise.  
  
Syaoran went on to talk about how he was the heir to being the clan leader and had to start learning from a young age about the business as well as spend most his life training in battle skills and different types of martial arts. He couldn't understand why this would be of any interest to her but answered any questions Konabe had as fully as he could to please her.  
  
Konabe listened attentively. Absorbing all the information he was feeding her and storing it in her mind. His life sounded amazing to her. Just the fact that he lived with his family was a fantasy in itself, so she enquired after as much as she could get out of him.  
  
One of the Elders respectfully, but formally, bowed towards to the tall slender woman that stood in front of him. Even though her expression was stern as ever, those around her knew that she returned their amount of respect and was grateful for the updates on her only son's progression.  
  
"As always, he's learning fast. If anything, his knowledge of the business is already up to the level of most of ours. We only need to update him on recent up-comings, but even that he's normally already picked up on himself.  
  
Socially, his behaviour towards the Elders shows a high standard of respect and admiration. We have also observed his interaction with the young trainee geisha that we allocated to him."  
  
~~*~~  
  
[Flashback]  
  
From the other end of the table, most of the Elders eyes were locked onto the scene opposite them. Konabe was listening intensively as the two faced each other and Syaoran described his family, including his long deceased father, strict mother and four over excitable sisters.  
  
It had been a while since they had seen the young heir even near anyone his own age except for his cousin. Two of his cousins, one girl his age and one boy a few years older, had moved into the Li family mansion a couple of years earlier. They were the closest people Syaoran had to his age group as his sisters were a lot older, but Meilin was hard work to say the least, with her overpowering personality and possessive behaviour. Syaoran had learnt to brush her off with half hearted excuses so that he could escape her lectures on how he needs to find a wife and open up more to others.  
  
The other cousin, Eriol, could best be described as Syaoran's only friend. The rest of his life, Syaoran had only ever been around adults, especially ones with so many regulations and formalities that he spent his time living up to their rules.  
  
But now. it seemed like they were looking upon a totally different person. His barriers were down - well, as much as they could be for Syaoran - and the couple were laughing amongst each other as they shared their tales.  
  
"I suppose he's needed someone that he can talk to."  
  
"It was the same for Eriol at this age. I mean, he is nearly sixteen."  
  
"But she isn't."  
  
"I don't think he would let us change her now, and she is the best trainee as we asked for one his age."  
  
"She's definitely seems obedient."  
  
"Also a high spirited young girl. That's defiantly what he needs after training all day. That smile would cheer up any rainy day."  
  
"She defiantly is beautiful. And he seems more relaxed than I've ever seen him."  
  
"It's settled then?"  
  
The Elders all nodded with approval.  
  
"I will talk to Yelan when we return. Then, if his mother agrees, I'll settle things with the 'House Mother'."  
  
~~*~~  
  
Konabe had been hanging onto every word that Syaoran had said over the past hour. They had covered all topics on his family and his training. He was now describing his home and every detail of the garden that Konabe was so impatient to hear about.  
  
"You have cherry blossoms!?!" Konabe exclaimed excitedly before quickly composing herself. "That's what my family named me after." Syaoran's expression changed to confusion while he thought about what she had just said.  
  
"Doesn't Konabe mean flower tea?"  
  
"Well, yes. but that's not my real name. Geisha's get given a separate name once they start training. I'm actually Sakura."  
  
"Why can't you keep your old name?"  
  
"It signifies a change in your life and lifestyle. I could only change it back if I left the geisha way of life."  
  
"Oh. ok then. So, Sakura, can I still call you that?"  
  
Hearing someone call her by that name, send shivers down her spine. Even though she had grown used to Konabe, the name Sakura felt more fitting. familiar in a way. "Sure" she answered, before leaning in to whisper, "just don't let anyone else hear you calling me that."  
  
Syaoran looked around as he heard the sound of chairs scrapping against the wooden floor. Regretfully, he followed suit and stood like the Elders were doing.  
  
"I guess we're leaving now." He reached into his jacket pocket and started to hand over another elaborately decorated envelope. A small delicate hand reached up and stopped him.  
  
"Please, don't give me so much. Your last tip was more than enough."  
  
"Don't worry Sakura," Syaoran reassured her. "I want to give it to you. Just to show I enjoy your company, especially after long business meetings."  
  
She smiled at his compliment and took the envelope as he offered it to her again. "I'll only spend it on necessities though. No luxuries, I promise."  
  
"Why not? I'm giving it to you to do whatever you want with it. What you spend it on is your business now." He held his hands around hers with the envelope in the middle so that she could not offer it back. "Please, just keep it. I want to show you that I appreciate your time. Plus I also want you to be able to get anything you want and also anything you need."  
  
Giving in, she took the tip and bowed courteously. "Arigato" she thanked him. "You're beginning to seem like my Oniisan"  
  
"Your brother?"  
  
"No, that's not what I meant. it's more like a nickname. We use it to mean a regular customer that supports us, as their tips pay for our provisions."  
  
"I guess I am then."  
  
Author's Note: From now on, I'm going to refer to Konabe in the narrative as Sakura as they are one and the same person. Syaoran will also refer to her this way but most of the other characters will still call her Konabe. I hope this doesn't make it too confusing, but you most probably would have expected this change. 


	7. Chapter Six: Tomoyo

Chapter Six: Tomoyo  
  
Sakura awoke in one of the most elegant rooms she had ever seen. When she had arrived the night before it had been nearly midnight and she was practically asleep. She was greeted by a handful of unfamiliar faces and taken to a room to rest. This is where she now was, but with light illuminating everything around her so she could take it all in.  
  
Later she would realise that her room was one of higher quality than the one's occupied by servants of the household, but couldn't even compare to most of the other rooms in the house. However, having lived in the teahouse most her life, Sakura was finding it hard to take in the fact that this was where she was now to live.  
  
Everything was white in colour, making the whole place look immaculate and untainted, a feeling enhanced by the feeling of silk sheets against her skin. The room was exceptionally large compared to what she was used to, and she had her own en-suite bathroom, which looked just as untouched as everything else.  
  
Stepping out of bed, Sakura's small toes softly crept around the room, trying not to touch anything in fear of tarnishing the purity that radiated from every object around her. The large queen size bed was the centre piece of the whole room which also managed to accommodate a large wardrobe built into the wall, her own large dressing table, equipped with mirror, and smaller tables next to the bed.  
  
The bathroom was just smaller than the bedroom and held a large bath along with toilet and sink, all following the theme of the bedroom. Sakura took her time to inspect all the bottles and lotions that decorated the shelves around the room.  
  
After taking full advantage of examining everything in sight, Sakura opened the wardrobe to find it full of elegant clothes, kimonos and dresses that had been beautifully embroidered with detailed designs. The one that caught her eye straight away was pure white silk and she held it in front of herself as she studied the mirror, admiring the way that she now felt like part of the room.  
  
This dress was not embroidered with anything, but had two small delicate straps that hung over each shoulder. It seemed plain and simple as she put it on and looked at it following the curves of her body, which was well developed for her age, and just touched the floor by her feet. Twirling in front of the full-length mirror on the wardrobe, Sakura admired her reflection. Picking up a small ivory clip from the dressing table, she loosely put up her hair in a French twist, leaving two strands hanging down on each side of her face.  
  
Now feeling the part, Sakura started floating around the room, gently holding the skirt part of the dress as she twirled around deciding that she must still be dreaming. A gentle breeze drew her attention to the large glass doors that were hidden behind loose lace curtains that swayed in time with the wind. Stepping through these doors, Sakura found herself on a large balcony that overlooked the most breathtaking sight.  
  
The gardens seem to stretch out to the horizon and held a range of what seemed like every type and colour of flower that existed. Petals shone in the morning light, highlighting the paths that left a complex trail weaving in and out, between trees and past small streams. Sakura could imagine walking between these flowers for the fiftieth time and still managing to find a part of the garden that she hadn't visited before.  
  
A cough shocked Sakura, causing her to spin round and find someone in her room by the door. Running back into the room she started to gather her old clothes and make her way towards the bathroom.  
  
"I'm so s.sorry," she managed to stutter. "I didn't mean to put on these clothes. I mean. I was just looking at them and. well, I'll change straight away." Before Sakura made it into the bathroom, the girl grabbed her arm to stop her.  
  
"Don't worry. They're for you. You're supposed to wear them." After feeling reassured by her words, which came out in a smooth soft voice, Sakura looked up at this girl who stood in front of her. Her hair was long with a slight wave and in the blackness of it all, there was a slight glimmer of violet that shone through.  
  
Suddenly realising that she had someone to talk to, Sakura asked, "Umm. where am I?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Master Syaoran." Wei was a tall greying man and one of the higher-ranking servants in the Li household. He had been trying to his young masters attention for a few minutes now as he stood by the door of the dojo. He repeated it a bit louder this time, "Master Syaoran".  
  
Syaoran had been training all morning, refining his sword techniques as he stealthily moved around the room, swiftly waving his sword in a focus manner. Finally picking up the sound of Wei, his concentration stopped and he put down the sword. Catching his breath, he walked over to find out what was needed of him.  
  
"Your mother wishes to speak with you."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The other girl had now introduced herself as Tomoyo, another house geisha, and was trying to make Sakura feel at home. She had explained about house geisha's and that they were a common present amongst the extremely wealthy.  
  
"Present? . That makes us seem like objects!" Sakura had listened carefully until this sudden outburst. Tomoyo looked confused.  
  
"Calm down Sakura. It won't be any different from in a teahouse. It's just that now you'll be here for just one person. He'll be your Oniisan."  
  
At the mention of 'oniisan', Sakura got even more worked up. "But I already have an Oniisan!"  
  
"Oh," Tomoyo exclaimed. "Sorry. But you must have realised that you were leaving all that behind when you left the teahouse to come here."  
  
"Well, I wasn't really told much. Kima had said goodbye so I knew I was leaving, but I had no idea where I was going or what for. At first I was just sad to be leaving everyone I knew, but Kima said I'd still be able to see them. It didn't even occur to me that I might never see him again."  
  
Sakura's emerald eyes had clouded over as her anger melted into tears that she was only just managing to hold back. Tomoyo moved closer and put an arm around Sakura to comfort her. Being nearly three years older, Tomoyo was taller than Sakura, and easily held the smaller fragile frame of Sakura in her arms as she broke down into tears. Not only because she had just realised that she had lost her oniisan, but also realising that she no longer had the only family she had ever known.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Syaoran had reluctantly left his training and followed Wei to a large conservatory where his mother was sitting, accompanied by his four sisters. He knew something was about to happen, as the youngest of his sisters, all of which were older than him, was trying to hide a big grin which the others had learnt to do, while he could still read Feimei like a book. However, he knew better than to question what his mother was up to so instead he waited for her to speak.  
  
"Syaoran. I have something I need you to get for me." Here she paused but wasn't waiting for a response. "You remember the truffles we had at your sisters birthday celebrations? Well, as you know that celebrations are being prepared for your big day tomorrow and I wish for you to go and collect me some."  
  
"Truffles? But aren't those the ones that are only available in the next town? It will take me ages to get there and back. Can't you send someone else, I do have my own things to do you know." Straight after this outburst Syaoran regretted opening his mouth.  
  
Fortunately Yelan let his remarks slide and just waited silently for his next response. Realising what he had to do, Syaoran nodded his head, giving a slight bow towards the female members of his family and left the room before setting out on his journey.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Tomoyo had been telling Sakura about her oniisan in an attempt to calm her down and explain the situation. It seemed that she had been a present as well after leaving her teahouse.  
  
"I've been here for nearly three years now and it's so much better than where I was before. I mean, my life wasn't bad before, don't get me wrong, it's just. how do I put it? Well, I guess it's just simpler here. You always have the same faces greeting you each day, you get to know your oniisan a lot better and only really work for him. Also, due to this family's position, we get a really high standard of life even when we're only just. well. the entertainment."  
  
Tomoyo paused to see that Sakura was listening intently but the tears were welling up in her eyes again, ready to roll down her flustered cheeks.  
  
"Don't worry. You should be pleased with your oniisan. Some geisha are sold to men twice, maybe three times their age, and god only knows if they are actually nice people."  
  
"But what if my new oniisan is like that? How can I just be given to someone when I don't even know who they are or what they're like?!"  
  
"You haven't met him yet? Oh, please don't cry. He's not anything like those horrible ideas in your head."  
  
Sakura suddenly starred at Tomoyo, eyes wide, and asked, "So you know him? You know what he's like?"  
  
"Well, not exactly know him. I've seen him a couple of times and he's definitely not much older than you, and even though he always looks very serious, the whole family is like that.  
  
I was scared of Eriol when I first meet him, he seemed so solemn and I thought he looked disapprovingly towards me. What I later found was that they all had to act a certain way in front of the elders.  
  
As soon as I met him properly though, he was completely different - kind, caring, listened to me and asked loads of questions. It was like he found me fascinating and couldn't draw himself away from me. It made me feel the same. I wanted to answer everything he asked and let him learn as much as he could about me, and me about him."  
  
"Tomoyo." Sakura interrupted. "Do you love Eriol?"  
  
Shocked by the question, Tomoyo hung her head low to hide her blushing cheeks. "Of course not. How could I? I'm only a house geisha."  
  
"That doesn't mean you don't have feelings."  
  
"Sakura, you have to understand, that we are here to entertain, and for company. Love is not an option. If you fall in love, it will end up causing you more pain than having to be a geisha to someone you didn't like."  
  
"How so? At least if I loved my oniisan I would be able to talk to him and be close to him. And I would also be happy just to have had the chance to meet him."  
  
Tomoyo smiled at Sakura's innocence.  
  
"But then you would have to watch him when he falls in love with another, and marries. Could you really bear that?"  
  
This thought hit Sakura hard. She had never thought of it like that as she had always been wrapped up in her dreams and fantasies. The good thing about her dreams were that she decided the outcome. She would fall in love and they would love her back. She had never thought about the actual reality of it all.  
  
"Miss Konabe?" The voice of an older woman called from the door interrupting Sakura's thoughts. Looking round she saw a maid, dressed in a simple black dress complete with white apron. "The mistress of the house wishes to see you now. If you would follow me."  
  
"Oh, ok." Sakura stood up, starting to panic about the meeting. It had been sprung on her with no warning so she wasn't in the least bit ready. Then what if they didn't like her? Would they send her back to the teahouse or would they just sell her on?  
  
"Calm down" Tomoyo said to Sakura. "Konabe? Is that your name? It was rude of me not to ask before."  
  
"Umm. yes, well, it's my geisha name."  
  
"Don't panic. She'll like you a lot more if you're confident. I'll come back and see you again later, or if you want my room is just down the hall, third door to the right."  
  
With that Tomoyo left and Sakura had to practically run after the maid who had already started down the corridor the other way. In such a panic, she hardly looked where she was walking until the maid stopped and she was stood in front of a large wooden door, finely crafted with patterns of cedar trees. It seemed familiar but Sakura had no time to admire its detail. Instead she had just managed to catch her breath when the door where opened from inside to reveal the mistress of the house.  
  
AN. Sorry it always takes me so long - I have to get the inspiration. Still, thanks for the reviews and I'm really gonna try and get better at updating quicker. Also thanks for putting up with me!! 


	8. Chapter Seven: O Tanjoubi Omedeto

Chapter Seven - O Tanjoubi Omedeto (Happy Birthday)  
  
Straightening his jacket, Syaoran took a deep breath before entering the room. He had been dreading this moment for days as he knew of his mother's plans. He couldn't understand why she was so impatient in wanting him to find a fiancé. His sisters also added to the stress by following their mother's example.  
  
Even though he had tried not to make a grand entrance, word of him being there spread like the plague and drew everyone's attention. To Syaoran it seemed like less of a birthday celebration and more like a meat market.  
  
Everyone's eyes were on him as he made his way across the room to where his mother sat on a raised area with his four sisters by her side. All of them were dressed exquisitely for the festivities and each sister was accompanied by a suitor of their own choosing.  
  
"How come they get a choice? All of them are older than me and none of them have been forced into an early marriage." These thoughts of jealously fuelled his anger as he sat next to his mother.  
  
Fortunately for him, the fuss died down and once again people were dancing with only the occasional glance in his direction. His sisters gradually moved away to join the guests and finally, what seemed like forever to Syaoran, his cousin Eriol appeared.  
  
"Actually managed to tear yourself away then!" Syaoran remarked. Knowing exactly what he meant, Eriol just smiled before teasing back, "Which one are you going to marry then?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Konabe, I'm so sorry." Tomoyo caught her breath as she rushed into the room to help Sakura get ready. In her arms was a light blue kimono with silver embroidery and a matching under dress.  
  
Her hand reached out and took the white powder from Sakura before she managed to apply it to her skin.  
  
"No, not tonight. He'll want to see your face." Sakura just nodded in agreement and left everything to the other maids who were now fussing around her.  
  
Soon her hair was up in a French twist and one of the maids put the finishing touches to her makeup before leaving her alone to sit and wait. As Tomoyo was the last to leave, she flashed Sakura a reassuring smile and mouthed, "Don't worry."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The next dance finished and Syaoran quickly tried to get back to the side of the room where Eriol was standing before he was introduced to yet another single girl to dance with. He was also so close to actually making it away when.  
  
"Syaoran!" He turned to see his mother heading towards him with a young girl on her arm. "I have someone I'd like you to meet."  
  
Looking over his shoulder, Syaoran shot a look of 'help' over to Eriol who just grinned and raised his glass in a 'good luck' gesture.  
  
"Syaoran, this is Shinabo, daughter to the Sabato Clan." The girl smiled sweetly, and stepped closer to Syaoran with her hand extended towards him, "Could I have this dance?"  
  
Being as polite as he could, he bowed before taking her small slender hand and leading her towards where the others were dancing. As soon as the music started, he too started to move. Every step he made was in time and he knew all the moves, but he put no life into it and his face was as expressionless as ever.  
  
At first Shinabo just followed his lead, her long white sequined dress flowing behind her as they turned and twirled to the soft sound of the live orchestra playing. However, before long, she gave in to the urge to break the silence and commented on how magnificent the whole celebration was. Much to her disappointment though, Syaoran replied politely before falling silent once more.  
  
"I see you're a man of many words." Shinabo mocked.  
  
"Do you always choose to talk while dancing then?" The conversation was interrupted by Eriol coming over to his cousins' rescue.  
  
"May I interrupt?" Eriol held his hand out to the lady with a welcoming smile and Syaoran quickly handed her over. To be truthful, Shinabo was slightly grateful. She knew a marriage to Syaoran would be a massive advantage to her and her family, but at the same time he seemed to come across as quite full of himself and moody.  
  
"It's a shame such good looks are wasted on that personality." She thought to herself as she watched Syaoran head towards the main doors.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He hadn't meant to act so rudely towards his guests but he hardly knew any of them. It had seemed like he was in a sea full of faces, just trying to find someone he recognised, and that was why he had been so relieved to see Eriol coming across to save him. Not only did that mean he finally knew someone in the room, but it also meant he could escape, if only for a short amount of time.  
  
As soon as he was out the doors he headed for his room. He knew it wouldn't be long before someone came to fetch him and make him go back. As he walked, he loosened his shirt by undoing the top button and taking off his jacket.  
  
Finally, he had made it to his room where he shut the door behind him and slid down to sit on the floor. With his head in his hands he started dreading the knocking on the door which would mean he would have to return and once again be introduced to more potential wives.  
  
"Huh-hum" Someone cleared their throat as if about to speak. At first, Syaoran didn't notice, but when it happened again, he realised some else was in the room with him. Looking up, both people gasped as they saw familiar faces.  
  
Syaoran promptly stood up and moved right in front of the girl to examine her and make such his eyes weren't deceiving him.  
  
"Sakura?" 


	9. Chapter Eight: Fukuzatsu Mixed Feelings

Chapter Eight: Fukuzatsu (Mixed Feelings)  
  
Still in shock, Sakura stood frozen. Before she had been so anxious about meeting the person that now 'owned' her, but she never could have even imagined what had actually happened. In front of her stood the only person that knew out of the teahouse and by some miracle she had ended up in his home.  
  
"Sakura?" Syaoran was still waiting for some sort of confirmation that she was who he thought was standing in front of him.  
  
Her happiness radiated from the sparkle in her eyes but she managed to compose herself like she was supposed to and answered him with a small bow and "Hai, Master Li."  
  
Before she even had the chance to raise her head again after her bow, panic had taken over Syaoran.  
  
"Wha. what are you doing here? If they find you. they'd. Did you run away?. Where can I hide you?" Rushing around his room, he started looking through all his wardrobes and cupboards and generally pacing the room.  
  
"If people found you. I mean they'd. well. I don't even know what they'd do if they found you."  
  
"They?" She repeated questioningly.  
  
"Yes, 'they'. Maids, guards, servants, relatives, mother. oh god, worst of all mother!"  
  
"Your mother is Lady Yelan?"  
  
Syaoran's pacing came to an abrupt halt as he spun round to face her. After a moment of letting this question sink in, he replied with another question. "You've met my mother?"  
  
"Yes, earlier today. I didn't know she was yours though. Your mother I mean."  
  
Sakura couldn't take her eyes off him. Even in his current state with his hand on his chest, hair ruffled, face frowning in deep thought as he worried. No, not just worrying. worrying about her.  
  
"I'm here because." Her explanation was cut short as the bedroom door opened once again.  
  
"Syaoran, your mother is searching for you." Eriol stood at the door, still dressed immaculately from the celebrations, not noticing at first that Syaoran had dived in front of Sakura to hide her. Stepping round further into the room he caught sight of Sakura's kimono.  
  
"Nice to meet you," He welcomed the small geisha that he had just found, bowing formally.  
  
"Look, it's not what you think. I don't have time for this. We have to get back to the ball room before Mother come here and finds her." Syaoran was frantically trying to put his jacket back on as he rushed for the doorway, running straight into the arm Eriol had just blocked the way with.  
  
"What are you doing?! I have to get back!"  
  
"Calm down," Eriol started straightening his cousin's jacket as he spoke to him. "Your Mother knows she is here, she's supposed to be here."  
  
Amber eyes stared straight at Eriol, wanting a further explanation.  
  
"Look, remember my sixteenth birthday, when Tomoyo arrived. It's the same here, this young girl is a present."  
  
"Present?!" Syaoran practically shouted.  
  
"Present, gift, whatever you want to call if. For your birthday."  
  
As Syaoran turned to look at Sakura, she noticed how wide his eyes had grown, and the vacant look that took over them as his mind went back into deep thought.  
  
Composing himself, Syaoran told Eriol to pass on the message that he was on his way back before ushering him out the room and closing the door. He paced for a few minutes before placing himself with his back to her as he looked out onto his grand balcony and the nights sky. It was already quite late, leaving the moon to shine alone, as it managed to creep into the room and light Syaoran where he was standing. To Sakura, this made his body glow with a white aura that surrounded his body.  
  
She could no longer wait for him to say something as she felt that his pain was her fault. If only she hadn't had been there, then he would've had anything to worry about. Not thinking about her actions, she had walked up behind him and placed a hand on his arm. This straight away got his attention, but instead of seeing anger, Sakura thought she saw sadness in him.  
  
"I'm sorry. I really am. If you told me what was wrong, I could try to do something. Or if you don't want me here, I'm sure I could go back to the tea house." Even though that was the last thing that she wanted since she had seen him, but if she had to leave to make him happy, then she would do it for him.  
  
Now facing her, Syaoran leaned forward, letting his lips brush hers. He didn't understand anything that had been going through his mind, and he had had no idea what he was going to do about it all, so instead he had just cleared his mind, and done what felt right.  
  
Suddenly pulling away, he headed for the door.  
  
"Syaoran." Sakura now stood by the window and Syaoran say her how she had looked upon him moments earlier, radiating light. However, he could not stop to take in the sight.  
  
"I have to get back." He stated as he left, closing the door behind him. 


	10. Chapter Nine: Otoroeru Weakening

Chapter Nine: Otoroeru (Weakening)  
  
Life was slowly draining from Sakura's once rosy cheeks. Each time she caught a glimpse of him, more of her was lost. The spark that she had, had now disappeared, taking her smile and the shine from her eyes as well. It seemed that she was only a shell of her former self. Even that was hardly recognisable anymore. She had lost so much weight since she had stopped eating.  
  
Wearing old robes she had found, and leaving her hair loose, she had taken to helping the servants with household chores to pass the time. An older woman kneeled next to Sakura as they both cleaned the ball room to ready it for another celebration. The last one had been for Syaoran's birthday over three months ago and the room hadn't been used since.  
  
The main doors opened and Syaoran entered with his mother to inspect the preparations. Sakura slowly stood as she watched him walk across the room, but in such admiration, her hands let go off the brush she had been washing the floor with, sending it to the floor with a thud.  
  
All eyes turned to her, but she only took notice of one pair. From far away, she could still see the amazing colour that his eyes were. However, after only a glance in her direction, he turned away again and continued, like she hadn't been visible to him. Before the tears that were filling her eyes could roll down her pale cheeks, she ran out of the room. out of sight.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ _______________  
  
From then on, she stopped helping around the house and instead kept to her room. Even though she still wished to be able to glance at him when he walked past, in the hope that one day he would turn to her and look upon her how he had done before in his room, she could not take seeing him walk past like she never existed. Sakura would of course never admit to herself, if she even knew what she was doing to herself, that she could not longer even cope with the smallest chores as her body was growing so weak.  
  
Laying on her bed, she noticed a note next to her tray of food that had been put there for her lunch which had Tomoyo's neat handwriting begging her to eat something. Rolling over so her back was to the bowl of steamed rice and sweet honey coated chicken pieces, her eyes caught sight of something she hadn't seen in a while.  
  
Moving a few books from her table to get to the one she wanted, Sakura held it up to the little to watch the light dance across the cedar tree that decorated the cover. Memories of her first meeting with Syaoran flooded her mind as she thought of how the envelope he had given her had had the same design. Flicking through the pages, she read through the first and only entry she had ever made into that note book.  
  
~~*~~ Suddenly my hand was taken hold of in a firm but reassuring grip and I followed him as we ran together into the gardens.  
  
The next thing I knew, we were near the back of the gardens, the place I had tried to picture myself at before. I hadn't been able to see much of this part when I had the wider view of the landscape but seeing it now made up for it. A stream trickled along the base of a small raised platform that we sat on, shaded by one lonely tree that centered this section of the garden.  
  
From behind, his arms were wrapped securely around me, providing me with both warmth and comfort.  
  
"All this is for you."  
  
~~*~~  
  
His voice echoed over and over again, taunting her for not recognising it before. How could she not have realised who she was dreaming about. Even though the dreams started before she knew him, it was only once they met that she had seen the next part, where he was present.  
  
She was beginning to realise that he had been the hope that she had always held in her heart. She had never really fully given herself to the life of a geisha, as she wanted a family. She wanted to marry and have children that ran freely in the open air - carefree and with the innocence that all children had. Syaoran was her chance for that happiness, but now that was gone.  
  
The thought sank in, leading her heart to sink with it. Taking up the pen, she started to write.  
  
~~*~~ What is there to live for apart from love? Love of a family, love of friends, and the love of someone special. Who do I have? None of them. No family or friends. And now I no longer have the hope of him. What do I have to live for then? Would it matter if I didn't exist? Would it matter.  
  
~~*~~  
  
The pen slide out of her hand as a darkness started to take over her consciousness. She welcomed this as a chance to dream, as her body feel lifelessly to the floor. 


	11. Chapter Ten: Gomen

Chapter Ten: Gomen  
  
Light crept silently across the room as the sun rose outside meaning her eyes had to slowly adapt to the change. The scenery was unfamiliar as well. As she started to be able to focus on a plain room, filled with minimum furniture, she was suddenly hit by an immense throbbing pain that took over her head.  
  
"Konabe!" Kima rushed over to the young girl's bedside and took her hands. "Please try and rest. The doctor will be back soon, just lay down till then, ok?" Lay back down, Sakura nodded to reassure the girl in front of her. She was vaguely familiar, but Sakura could not register how she knew her.  
  
Looking around more clearly now, she was sure that she was in a hospital. The smell was undeniable, and it would also explain the whiteness of the place. But why was she here?  
  
"Master Li?"  
  
Wei stood in the doorway of the library calling to the young man of the house. Syaoran looked up without responding, hoping it was some news of Sakura. She had fainted over three weeks ago now and had been unconscious ever since. He had managed to sneak out to see her once, but the sight to him was unbearable. There were tubes going into her arm to feed the drip, a mask to provide oxygen and even the monotone beep coming from the heart monitor, but these weren't what Syaoran couldn't stand. It was the lifeless body that lay there, day after day, with her skin grower paler as her body gradually got even skinnier.  
  
How had he failed to notice how much she had withered away before? If only he hadn't tried to avoid her. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do, to save her any pain once his mother had forced him to marry someone she found suitable. That was his duty. How could he go against it?  
  
"There is a phone call for you."  
  
Syaoran stood up and followed Wei to the hallway phone, each movement watched closely by Lady Yelan. She had seen the way her son had reacted when the girl had first arrived and had warned him not to get attached. Now he seemed relatively unmoved by her accident, but Yelan knew him better than that, she knew how well he could cover his emotions.  
  
~~*~~  
  
The phone call had been from the hospital as Sakura had finally woken. Making his excuses, he had left straight away. It was understandable as she was his geisha, so he would be paying the medical bill. He used these reason to allow his visit. Relief had taken over his body, making it slightly harder than usual to keep his cold exterior about him, but he managed. In his head however, there were images playing over and over, showing Sakura well again, and the smiling face she would greet him with. The sight he met however was not what he expected. Looking through the window into her room, he saw her fail body barely managing to hold itself in a sitting position. She wasn't as pale as the last time he had seen her, but it would take a while for her to be the girl he used to know. Then it hit him. Her eyes were starring directly at him, but they were completely emotionless.  
  
"She has slight memory loss" He recalled the phone call.  
  
Could she not recognise him? His heart sank as he realised it was true.  
  
"Maybe I deserved this after how I treated her. Then again, maybe it's for the best this way. By bringing her into my life, I could only bring her more pain, especially if her feelings were as strong as my own. How could I have been so selfish? Did I really believe it would sort itself into a fairytale ending? How could I be so arrogant?"  
  
Turning quickly on his back heel, he swiftly left the building.  
  
The doctor had checked her over, and apart from the obvious memory loss, and extreme weight loss, Sakura was given the all clear. She would still be in the hospital for a few weeks yet, to get her weight back up, and to run a few memory exercises, but it could have been a lot worse. Everyone knew this but dared to mention it.  
  
As the doctor talked to her and Kima about the different tests she would undergo, Sakura's mind started to wonder, and her eyes with it, until she realised she was staring at a figure that was looking in through the glass window. Jogging her back to reality, she quickly looked back to the doctor to make sure he hadn't noticed how impolite she had just been by not paying attention. She had to look back though. Why was he looking at her so intensely? So longingly? Did she know him? Her eyes darted to the window as soon as she thought she could take a glimpse without being noticed, but he had already left. Wearily she continued to listen to the conversation in front of her.  
  
Daily, many of her old friends from the teahouse visited and retold tales of her past to try to help her remember, and fill the blank space in her mind. Most if it triggered something. She had managed to recall most of the faces that visited her, even though the events they talked about seemed like only tales to her mind. There was only one person that hadn't been lost from her mind, and that was the person who had just arrived and stood in the doorway to Sakura's room.  
  
"Tomoyo!!" Sakura sat up straight away, having gained her strength over the few weeks she had been hospitalised and was soon allowed to leave. The only problem left was where see would go 'home' to? She had no recollection of the Li household and people hadn't pushed her to remember, instead she only talked of the teahouse like she had never left.  
  
"Tomoyo, I've missed you. How have you been, I was getting worried. I asked after you but none of my friends seemed to recall you."  
  
Timidly Tomoyo entered the room. She had been excited to see her friend, but she had been sent here for a reason. Eriol's words ran in her ears with a sense of urgency.  
  
"Please find out what she remembers of him. I think he's giving up on her."  
  
Gently placing herself next to Sakura on the bed she forced a smile onto her face, trying to hide how anxious she really was. The outcome of the conversation would change the outcome of Sakura's future.  
  
"What do you mean worried about me, I was worried about you! I've been told you've made a full recovery." Some part of Tomoyo felt guilty that she hadn't persisted Sakura more about her lack of eating.  
  
"How come none of my friends remember you? You're not from the tea house, you can't be. Then how do I know you? I remember everything about you, except that." Sakura winced as confusion clouded her mind once again. It was frustrating that all her memories had gaps.  
  
"Do you remember where we met?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
"Completely. I remember everything about the room, as it was the most elegant place I've ever been. I can't believe I was actually there at all."  
  
"But why were you there?" Tomoyo wanted more, she wanted Sakura to remember. Not only for him, and also not only for her own personal selfishness of not wanting to loss a friend, but also for Sakura. She had talked about Syaoran with such admiration when she had arrived at the Li household. It was with such strong emotions that her eyes spoke, wanting to shout to the world her feelings for the one she had found.  
  
"If I lost Eriol..." It was a thought Tomoyo had always pushed to the back of her mind, but now it plagued her. "...I don't know what I would do."  
  
"Tomoyo, why are you asking me these things? I'm sorry I can't remember the answers just yet, but if you help me, I'm sure I can recall everything. Will you help me?"  
  
This was something Tomoyo had been ordered against. "Not today Sakura. I will come back to visit you soon, we can talk then and see if you have remembered any more." Hiding her face from the confused girl, Tomoyo placed a card on Sakura's lap before leaving the room. She felt awful having to leave having only given a get well card. She could have done so much more for her, and it was these thoughts that rotated around and around in her head:  
  
"The feeling you have when you love someone is so precious that it should never be lost. I'm sorry I could not return you feeling to you. I'm sorry I could not remind you of him."  
  
Syaoran was in the hall way with the owner of the teahouse as Tomoyo stepped out of the room and stopped by the two. It was ill mannered of her to keep her eyes to the ground, but she could not bring herself to meet Syaoran's gaze. Instead, her head hung low as she slightly shook her head.  
  
"It's settled then. Saku... I mean Konabe will return to the teahouse."  
  
Syaoran's statement shocked them both, but he continued before they could say a word.  
  
"There will, however, be some conditions upon her return. There will be no mention of what happened to her with the Li household, or of my name. Tomoyo, you may visit her, but make an excuse of how you met elsewhere. Also, she will only perform, and have no guests that stay with her. These are my conditions."  
  
"Master Li..."  
  
"Of course I will pay for everything – her hospital bills, education, food and clothing, and anything else she needs. I want her to have the best there is, and no less. I will make sure you have the funds needed to make all that possible. And if one day she remem... no, that is all."  
  
One of the ladies went to bow while the other suddenly could not hold back her feelings.  
  
"What are you doing!?!" Tomoyo practically shouted. "How can you do this to her? How can you just walk off and leave her!!" Tears started to form in her eyes as the first lady placed an arm around her to try and calm her down.  
  
Syaoran, however, did not even turn to look back at her as he quietly stated, "Gomen Tomoyo. It's for the best."  
  
Then he was gone. 


	12. Chapter Eleven: Danna

Chapter Eleven: Danna  
  
Sakura was once again in a place she recognised – her room in the tea house. Mother had offered her another room on the second floor, where the earning geishas lived, but Sakura had refused and stayed in the only place she knew everything about. Memories came back to her about every floor board that creaked, how to undo the lock to the window which always stuck, and the amazing view she had out of her window which framed a large cedar tree which she played on in her youth.  
  
Everyday she dedicated some time to memory exercises which had been given to her by the doctor, as she desperately tried to recover anything from the few months before her incident. She had been going over some of these when Tomoyo gently knocked on her door.  
  
"How are you feeling?" she questioned as she walked over to the dressing table which Sakura was perched in front of.  
  
Sakura had been out of the hospital for nearly two months already and had been attending parties with Kima to get to know the regular customers of the area. It had been hard work and had worn her out, especially as more and more requested started coming in for her to attend places.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" Tomoyo shuddered lightly at the thought of what the following question could be.  
  
"Would you call me pretty?" Tomoyo couldn't help but laugh from relief.  
  
"Why are you laughing? I'm being serious!"  
  
"How can you even ask something like that? Are you tired from the amount of parties you've had to attend the past few weeks? The requests speak for themselves."  
  
There was a slight pause, before Sakura looked her friend directly in the eyes.  
  
"Then why doesn't anyone want me?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Putting an arm around the frail girl, Sakura flinched slightly as she was still trying to build up her weight and was in a delicate state. 'How could anyone even send her out to work in this condition?' Tomoyo wondered. 'She must also flinch away from customers. Still, they keep asking for her, so it obviously isn't damaging her reputation.'  
  
The panic had go the best of Sakura as she stood to pace the room, letting out all her thoughts flow from her mouth, dripping with worry.  
  
"Mother has been so kind to me since I returned from the hospital, but she can not support me forever. I owe her so much – food, education, clothes. A couple of days ago she presented me with a new silk kimono. The embroidery was so exquisite, I though she must have been mistaken and had meant to give it to Meiko. I tried to return it, but she refused. Now I've gone and added doctor's bills to all of this. I may not even be able to pay half, maybe less than that even, if I don't get a Danna. Nobody has even shown the slightest bit of interest in me like that. What can I do?"  
  
Tomoyo smiled to herself. Li had kept the kimono quiet, even though she regularly asked for updates on Sakura. This poor thing that had gotten herself so worked up about something that she had no worry about – compared to the other girls in the teahouse, she had a Danna that was paying enough to keep the teahouse open even if all the girls stopped working. However, Tomoyo couldn't tell her any of this, and therefore had no way to console her.  
  
A few days later, Sakura's hopes were lifted by the announcement that she had been asked to attend a private meeting that lunchtime across town in the Suwa teahouse. It shouldn't have taken her long to prepare herself in the casual daytime kimono, but she spent extra time on her hair and makeup so that she would not disappoint anyone – her customer or mother.  
  
As she arrived outside the room, she took a deep breath as she positioned herself outside the door, before sliding it open. Keeping her eyes down, she greeted herself, and then made her way to the centre of the room.  
  
He was quite an old man, about mid thirties, obviously from the west. This instantly made it seem like this man was unobtainable for a Danna, as was probably only visiting Japan, on business maybe, and was curious about geishas, however, Sakura's thoughts were proven wrong as she spoke to her about his move to the country after his recent purchase of a chain of factories in the district. This meant not only would he not be returning to the west, but also that he had the money to become a Danna.  
  
All in all, she felt the meeting went quite well, as it lasted over the agreed two hours. She had entertained with stories and tales that she had heard from others as well as anecdotes she had picked up from parties. He seemed pleased to just able to talk and did not ask for any performances. This was a relief, Sakura thought, as she had only ever danced on stage, or in front of a crowd – a single person as an audience seemed daunting and some what... embarrassing.  
  
It was a pleasant afternoon, but that seemed to be all it was, as she did not hear from him again. Not to her knowledge in any case.  
  
Arriving home one evening, Sakura found the new girl asleep while on door duty. Glad to be the one that found her, she gently tapped her awake to pass her some mints she had picked up at one of the parties. The young girl was grateful as she had learnt quickly who in the house would be cruel, and who, like Sakura, would help her adjust to the new life she was in.  
  
Slipping on her house slippers, Sakura's feet softly glided through the hallway towards her room until she noticed the office light still on. Changing her route to make her way over see if mother was up, or if she had fallen asleep while looking at the account books, she was shocked to hear a male voice coming from behind the door. It wasn't a friendly voice either.  
  
Scared for mothers safety, she was about to enter the room anyway but stopped at the mention of her name and placed her ear to the door instead.  
  
"What do you mean, you can't accept the offer? I've had at least three offers down at the registry for this girl, and the prices are high. They will not go much higher. If you hold back anymore, they will avert their attention somewhere else, taking their money with them."  
  
"I've explained before," Mothers voice shook with panic, it could easily be heard that she was loosing this verbal battle. "Konabe has a Danna. She is already being paid for and one of the conditions was that she had no customers. I can not risk compromising this situation."  
  
"Compromising? How will he find out? We could easily make a healthy income from this girl and you're not even willing to sell her mizu-age!"  
  
He paused. "This matter is no longer in your hands, the registry have rights on this girl too. If you do not comply, your position can easily be filled."  
  
Sakura silently crept away, pondering what she had just heard.  
  
"How can I have a Danna?" 


	13. Chapter Twelve: Realisation

Chapter Twelve: Realisation  
  
Syaoran hesitated in front of the plain white door. He hardly ever came down this corridor and has actually been avoiding his home altogether as much as he could lately. However, whenever he did come home, he never ventured far from his room, and instead kept himself busy. Tonight was the exception. With all his work out the way, his mind hadn't been able to stop reeling with thoughts of Sakura and now that insomnia had kicked in as well, his legs had followed his mind and brought him to where he now stood.  
  
The room was pristine and had also been cleaned recently, leaving no trace of the last occupant. Luckily, Syaoran knew where to look. All of Sakura's stuff had been removed and returned to her, all except the dresses which had been placed in the room before she arrived to welcome her. It seemed wrong that these clothes had been here before Sakura and still remained after she had gone. There were far too many for her to have worn the all in her short stay, but a couple still held a soft fading scent.  
  
He had ordered a dress to be delivered to the tea house a few days before but had not had the courage to choose which one himself. Instead he had sent Tomoyo, but with clear instructions to send one which she had not worn before. This was mainly because he did not want to send away the only things he had left which helped ignite the memory inside him of the girl he had fallen in love with, however, he reasoned that it was because one she had worn may bring back memories which the doctor had warned against doing.  
  
He had enough memories for the both of them and they were currently overtaking his mind. Events of how badly he had treated her before her accident, which were also most likely the cause of her starvation, replayed regularly in his dreams as well as this thoughts when he was awake. Gradually they were beginning to suffercate him. Each time he pictured seeing her laying deadly still in the hospital bed, his guilt practically doubled, then tripled as he tried to think up so many 'what if...'situations. Many lines of thought he had had over the past months started with 'if only...''  
  
"If only you what?"  
  
Syaoran jumped at the abrupt question. Had he been so preoccupied with his trail of thought that he had ended up citing them out loud? And who had been listening to him divulge these personal secrets? If he had not been in such a fragile state from such lack off sleep he would have been a lot more infuriated that someone had managed to sneak past his personal defences and listened in to his inner most feelings of regret. Instead all he could do was turn and helplessly look at who was standing in the doorway and glare. Tomoyo, however, had too much on her own mind to even acknowledge the piercing stare that was being aimed in her direction and continued to let her feelings become known.  
  
"If only you... what? Had visited her more when she was ill and actually helped her regain her memory of you instead of being so pigheaded and stubborn? Let her come back here instead of sending her back to that dreadful place just because it seemed like the easy way out? Maybe even go and see her now and take her out of that place and just tell her how much you miss her and want her back here? Which one is it?"  
  
Tears were now streaming down the poor girl's face as she held no emotion back. At this point she no longer was seeing him as the heir to the clan that she was hired by, but an ignorant male who had chucked out an innocent girl and dumped her in the seedy underworld of the teahouse district. Both of them knew he had the power to take her from that place and bring her back to the very room they wee standing in, but Tomoyo had now lost all respect she had ever had for this gutless human being now in front of her.  
  
"I'd really like to know what it is that you WISHED you could have done? Maybe send her one of the dresses that may remind her of here? Like you specifically ordered me not to do? Well, it didn't work! Are you even listening to me? I tried, and it didn't work, she still hasn't remembered! And guess what, now you're too late! So it's all fine and well sitting here pondering 'what if...' but what help is that to Sakura now?"  
  
With the first movement that Syaoran had made in a few minutes, he blinked away his icy stare as his head suddenly hung low.  
  
"Too late...?" He mumbled into his chest. This thought, even though it took a few seconds to fall into place, seemed to flick a switch somewhere in his body, suddenly mobilising it into action as he grabbed Tomoyo by the shoulders and looked her square in the eyes as he practically yelled, "What do you mean too late?"  
  
It was quite early for Sakura to be retiring for the night, but she had decided she needed an early night and was currently on her way back to the teahouse. Her name had been down to attend another party, but after making a quick appearance, she had made her excuses and retreated from town, heading for her home.  
  
The night's sky had been clear, giving a perfect view of the ecliptic moon which seemed to magnetically attract many stars to gather around it as well. This whole scene would have been missed by Sakura's emerald eyes, had it not rained the previous night, leaving a puddle that reflected everything as the girl walked past with her head firmly fixed in place with her gaze to the floor. Still, even though the landscape had found a way to be received by her eyes, Sakura hardly seemed to notice and kept walking with her wooden soled sandals echoing against the pebbled path she followed. Luckily this route was very familiar to her, giving her no reason to look up, or even distract her attention from a situation that had been puzzling her all day.  
  
"How can I have a Danna?"  
  
Tomoyo had visited the day before to lend a kimono that she had insisted Sakura wear out tonight. It had seemed like a strange request, especially since nothing out of the ordinary would be occurring and to Sakura the kimono looked extremely expensive which she confirmed when she felt the softness of the silk it was made from. On any other occasion she would have taken more notice of such an offering from her friend, and probably even questioned the reasoning behind lending such a garment. Instead, Sakura had something she wanted to get off her chest, and started to recall the recent events that she had heard from Mother's office that late night.  
  
Sakura had been slightly confused as to why Tomoyo had reacted more to the news of the conversation between the man from the registry office and Mother instead of the issue of her having a Danna.  
  
"Are you sure you heard right? He wanted to sell your mizu-age even though he was told you have a Danna?" Tomoyo's face could not hide her anticipation in waiting for an answer even if her life depended on it. If what she had just heard was true, then she didn't have long. It might have been a good few years since she herself had been part of the geisha circuit, being passed around as the registry saw fit, but it was something that would still not be forgotten for another good few years more.  
  
"I know I heard right! They were saying that I have a Danna, but I can't see how that could be possible. Well, of course it could be possible, but then why didn't they tell me about him? I have to meet him at some point right, so why hide it from me?"  
  
The innocence radiating from the younger of the two astounded Tomoyo and she realised that she was not going to get anything more substantial from Sakura. Giving a slight sigh as she simultaneously shook her head, Tomoyo gave up her line of questioning and made excuses to leave – she needed time to try and think of a plan.  
  
Recalling these events still brought no extra light onto the situation, leaving Sakura as clueless as ever about what she should really be worried about. Of course she had been slightly scared by the threatening tone that the registry guy had used, but, like most other people would have done, she only concentrated on what she wanted to think about, and at that moment, it was the issue of the mysterious Danna.  
  
Syaoran had made it across to the teahouse in record time and had no trouble storming into the main office of the place, as the building was practically empty with all the geisha's out for the night. Flinging the door open got the attention of the older woman at the desk who cowered in fear at the sight of the young man. Granted, he was a lot younger than her and therefore he would've normally had to treat her with respect, this condition was reverse due to the fact of who he was. His family had money, and with that came power, leaving him with the upper hand.  
  
The Mother of the teahouse was not dumb and knew that there could only be one reason for this visit – he knew. She didn't know how he could have found out but he knew. Thinking quickly she tried to hurriedly apologise and give her version of events.  
  
"Master Li, I tried, I really did." All the while that she spoke, the greying lady kept bowing repeatedly, trying to show the up most respect to her visitor. "I kept telling him that he couldn't sell Sakura as it was part of the contract we had, but he would not listen. Please believe me Master Li, I really tried to explain but he just threatened to take my job and go through with it anyway"  
  
Keeping her head bowed, she waited for the onslaught that she expected to receive, but after a long silence, she slowly raised he head to make sure he was actually still there. On making eye contact she looked away quickly, but looked back when she realised that she had been mistaken earlier – his eyes had not been filled with anger... but determination.  
  
As Sakura reached the building she called home, she placed her shoes by the door herself as no one had been stationed there this early in the evening as no one was expected to return at this kind of time. Sliding on a pair of slippers she made her way down the narrow corridor, still slightly self obsessed with her own thoughts, but this was knocked out of her when she saw the door ahead of her open.  
  
It was Mother's office. Was he here again? Sakura stopped in her tracks at the thought of the last person that she had known to be in Mother's office, but ridded herself of that fear by thinking of who else it could be. What if the person in there... is my Danna?  
  
Stepping out of the office, Syaoran was confronted with the last sight he expected to see. The sight was even more poignant with the dress that was wrapped tightly around the petite figure, showing how every curve of her body had matured since he had last laid eyes upon the girl. Even with this new attraction to the dress, he still could not think past the memories that it brought back of Sakura sitting in his room on his bed as she waited expectantly to meet her new 'owner'.  
  
The light blue material with silver thread weaving in and out of it made her whole body seem to shine - especially in such a dark corridor. This made Syaoran realise that he really had done wrong by this girl. However, even being trapped in such a drab place had not managed to dampen the light that radiated from Sakura. If anything he spirit had grown stronger as she had blossomed in his admiring hazel eyes.  
  
Her hair had grown, he could tell from the small bunch of silky auburn hair that had fallen from the neatly styled bun and laid to rest on the make-up painted face. Apart from that, she had returned to exactly how he remembered her on their first meeting here. Her eyes also gave some hint of recognition even though they still searched his face as a stranger would have, to take in his features. He knew it wouldn't be long now until she looked at him in the same intense way that his eyes were gazing at the perfect figure in front of him.  
  
Sakura had not broken her line of sight from where she had seen the boy standing even though he was now no longer in that same place but walking towards her. It was not until he was right next to her that she finally managed to regain her posture and went to bow in case he was an important customer to the teahouse. Her eyes widened in shock however when she suddenly felt his warm sweet breath on the back of her exposed next, sending shivers up her spine.  
  
"Come on Sakura..."  
  
His voice seemed familiar and his words echoed the ones that she had heard many times in her youth when she had had the same reoccurring dream time and time again. How could he know her name? Her real name and not her Geisha name? Did this boy know her?  
  
Raising her head slowly, she looked curiously in to the shining eyes in front of her. They gave off a feeling of friendliness and she knew she could trust him as his hand lightly gripped her own before he finished his sentence.  
  
"...I'm taking you home." 


	14. Chapter Thirteen: The Morning After

Chapter Thirteen: The Morning After  
  
Sakura woke up the next morning to a room that seemed vaguely familiar, even though she couldn't explain why. This line of thought was soon dismissed as just a bout of de-ja-vu as the young girl sleepily rubbed her eyes and collected her bearings. The room was purely white, with large patio windows opened to let in the morning breeze as well as the rays of light which playfully bounced off all the objects surrounding the king size bed. Sakura fitted in nicely with the scene with soft pale skin and light brown hair. She also was wearing white, but that was only because all she had to wear after taking off her kimono was the under garments to save her from revealing any of her body whilst staying in a strangers room.  
  
Her eyes started to scan the room, following the trail that the sun left on the floor, going across to a pile of crumpled sheets on a pale three-seater sofa. Her gaze stayed fixed on that spot as she thought about the guy that had been occupying it that night.  
  
Such a strange guy! She couldn't help but smile at the thought of him marching her out of the teahouse. His face had been stern, leaving her slightly uncomfortable to ask him anything, but at the same time, when she had heard him call her by her real name, she knew she could trust him.  
  
Moving to get up, Sakura found herself frozen to the spot as she found herself in a familiar position. Sitting on the end of the bed, she was suddenly wrapped up in a crystal clear memory that took over her sense of reality. Her mind took her to a place where she sat in that exact position with a nervous feeling spreading over her body. She knew she was waiting to meet someone and that she was scared, but apart from that she could not recall the situation. The only other thing that stuck in her mind was what she was wearing. The delicate details of the silver embroidery were embedded deeply in her mind as it weaved its way over the light blue fabric.  
  
"Have I been here before?" Sakura pondered out loud.  
  
"Morning."  
  
Sakura's eyes shot across the room to a side door which now currently framed the perfect slender figure of the man who owned the room, dressed only in loose training trousers as he held a towel up to dab at his dripping hair. The emerald eyes of the girl slowly took in the view that was in front of her without saying a word. She couldn't say a word... her voice was nowhere to be found at this current moment.  
  
"I hope you slept well." Syaoran smiled, trying to ease the tension between the two, understanding that Sakura still probably had no recollection of him.  
  
"Huh?" Sakura shook her head, getting her thoughts back in to check. "Oh, y...yes thank you." She stood and bowed slightly to show her respect. Syaoran nodded back in recognition before making his way over to a closet to take out a shirt. As the material slided smoothly across his skin to take rest on his shoulders, he offered that Sakura choose some clothes from the same closet.  
  
Sakura was surprised to find that he actually had ladies clothes in his cupboard but came to her own conclusion that with such a big room and bed, he must have a female companion, and it was her clothes that he was now offering. Hesitantly, Sakura reached her hand out to take a plain and simple pale green kimono, but retracted her hand suddenly as something else caught her eye.  
  
It's that pattern again She thought to herself. That's the same dress from the day dream I just had.  
  
Sakura turned to confront Syaoran who was now standing by the bed, buttoning up the jacket to the suit he had now changed into. His outfit was plain and simple, white shirt with a Chinese collared black suit, but once it was all perfectly set in place, Syaoran had gained an air of power and importance. The change seemed impossible and Sakura couldn't believe it was the same person who she had turned her back on a second ago, apart from the fact that his straggly hair hung down over his face from the towel drying it had received. However, she had a more pressing matter going over in her mind.  
  
"I have been here before haven't I?" Sakura paused and took the dress out of the closet and held it up so that Syaoran could see it. "And I was wearing this, wasn't I?"  
  
"You remember?" It had taken Syaoran a split second to be in front of Sakura, his hands placed on her shoulders and a stern expression on his face.  
  
"So it's true? What...? When...? Why...? I mean... I just had a feeling a minute ago. I don't really remember much, only sitting on the bed in that dress, waiting for someone. And when we were at the teahouse..."  
  
"You remember being my geisha at the teahouse?"  
  
"No... I was going to say it sounded familiar when you called me by my real name the other day, before you brought me here."  
  
"But you remembered something... that's good." Syaoran was now more thinking out load than actually talking to Sakura.  
  
His hands had dropped off her shoulders and now hung at his sides and his head hung low to follow suit. He really had hoped that the memory had included him in some way. He hadn't noticed before how his heart had started pounded. For weeks he had been having the same reoccurring dream of the day when Sakura's memory returned to her.  
  
"Please tell me what happened?" Sakura voice was quiet, nearly a whisper as she tried to get her voice out. As Syaoran brought his eyes up to meet with hers, he noticed the water welling up, ready to stream down her soft pale cheeks. It was once he had his arms tightly wrapped around her that she let it all out.  
  
Her small figure shook in his arms so he squeezed her a bit tighter to reassure her of his support.  
  
"It's scary to realise that I have no recollection of a part of my life. When did all this happen? Weeks, months, years ago?"  
  
"Look, you shouldn't worry about it. That was why the doctor told us not to mention any of it to you, as it would cause you too much distress. If I could have, I would have come to visit you everyday when you were in hospital, and would have brought you home here as soon as you were better. But I was told it was for the best, so I let them take you back to the teahouse."  
  
Sakura's eyes stared widely at Syaoran as she tried to take in what he was telling her. It was the first time since Sakura had been rushed to hospital that he had finally faced up to the feelings that had been waiting to explode from inside him. Now that these words were flowing freely from his lips, he couldn't stop himself from continuing.  
  
"Since then, my guilt has been driving me insane. I know it was entirely my fault that you stopped eating, I should have noticed what a bad state you were in. I can never forgive myself for not realising it earlier. If only I hadn't treated you so badly... I mean, it wasn't your fault that I couldn't get you out of my mind. I just knew that it was not possible to be with you so I tried to shut you out, I never thought it would hurt you so much."  
  
Syaoran was now so worked up he was pacing up and down the room while Sakura just looked on, not quite sure how to respond – not that he had given her a chance to anyway. He had hardly taken a breath himself until now. His pacing stopped as he positioned himself in front of the window with his back facing Sakura.  
  
"Once I lost you, I realised how difficult it was to think that I may never see you again. Or even worse – we might meet up and you would hate me as you remembered that I was the cause of all this. But what I know now is that I can't live without you... I love you Sakura!" 


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Hidden

Chapter Fourteen: (Hidden)  
  
"...I love you Sakura!"  
  
The young girl stood motionless with the expensive kimono still in her arms. She wanted to reply... say something... anything... but he had said so much, and it was such an extensive amount of information that she had to take in. What could she possibly say? To her, this guy whose back her eyes were transfixed on, had only walked into her life yesterday and whisked her away from the only life she knew to this luxurious mansion. Now he was telling her that she had been here before and he had led her to starve herself into a breakdown but he was sorry and he loved her.  
  
"Love me? But you don't even know me?"  
  
He walked away from the window and moved to sit on the bed the whole time that he moved he made sure that his eyes didn't meet hers.  
  
"I know this must be hard for you to take in, but I do know you. The memory you had before was when my parents brought you from the teahouse for my birthday. I know that sounds bad, but really I had nothing to do with it. I don't want to own you I just want to be near you."  
  
"So, let me get this straight, I lived her before as your geisha?"  
  
"Well, yes, that was why you arrived here, but it was different from that..."  
  
"Did I love you?"  
  
Syaoran's head jerked up quickly and he looked squarely at Sakura, letting her see that his face was glowing red. His mind started searching for an answer.  
  
Did she love me? I... I think so. Maybe I was wrong.  
  
"I'm not sure" He managed to mumble. With that he stood up, straightened his jacket and regained his powerful posture that she had witnessed when he had first changed into the suit.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I have to go, before mother comes looking for me. I'm sorry I brought all this up – it all must be very confusing for you. Please try not to work yourself up over it though, it doesn't matter that you don't remember yet, give it time. I will be back later on this evening. Try and get some rest, and do not under any circumstances leave this room. People can't see you, ok? I'll explain that later."  
  
Without further ado, Syaoran opened the door to the main house and quickly slipped out.  
  
Sakura spend the whole morning thinking over all that had been said. She had even laid out the kimono on the bed and kept returning to it, thinking it may bring back some more memories. It hadn't. The only thing brought on by all her hard work trying to remember was a very painful migraine. Deciding to give her mind a rest and headed for the shower.  
  
Stepping into the warm running water, Sakura let all her thoughts pour out of her mind and merge with free flowing liquid that eventually vanished down the plug hole. It was a great relief to wash away her failed attempts at remembering what has passed and finally turn her attentions to another matter.  
  
Closing her eyes, Sakura gave into a daydream that had been manifesting itself since seeing Syaoran dripping wet from his shower. At the time she had tried to let the thought pass, but now it was back vividly in her thoughts and was not going to be pushed to the back of her mind without a fight. As the lather from the soap slowly ran down her body, it sent shivers across her skin as she imagined the soft touch to be his hands gently touching the base of her back.  
  
She wanted his arms around her, holding her, and she had no idea why. Just knowing he was there would be enough, standing behind her, arms giving her support for her now wobbly legs caused by the feeling of his warm breath on her neck. That then turned into soft warm kisses that trailed from the top of her back so the sides of her neck, before his lips came to rest planting small teasing kisses by her ear. As her fantasy raced steadily on in her mind, Sakura's breathing had got a lot heavier and she was searching for breath a lot faster than usual.  
  
Suddenly the water ran cold, a harsh way of bringing Sakura back to reality.  
  
What am I thinking!? She cursed herself for having such thoughts. Why would I think such things?  
  
Quickly turning the facets to stop the now freezing water surging from the shower head, Sakura stepped out and wrapped herself in a soft fluffy towel. Her first instinct was stay how she was, with her body being caressed by such soft material, but she knew she had to get dressed in case Syaoran came back. Slipping on a simple pale green cotton kimono, she headed back to the main part of the bedroom.  
  
However, upon slightly opening the door, Sakura was greeted by voices. Scared she might be found and cause trouble for Syaoran, she went to close the door again but hesitated when she heard what they were talking about and tried to position her head to see what was going on.  
  
An old yet elegant looking maid, smartly dressed in a black kimono, had picked up the kimono Sakura had left on the bed, while another one, slightly shorter and a bit more plump made her way round the bed and was straightening the sheets and puffing the pillows.  
  
"Looks like Master Li was thinking about that girl again. Recently I keep finding more and more of her clothes making their way to his closet." The old of the two maids carefully placed the kimono on a hanger and replaced it hanging up with the other items she was talking about.  
  
"Poor girl, do you think her memory will ever come back? From what I've heard everyone around her took a liking to her, I just wish I could have met her."  
  
"Oh yes, she was the sweetest girl you'll ever meet. It was so sad when she stopped eating. We all tried to help her but she put on such a brave face. Maybe one day she'll be back, I know that would please Master Li. Then again, maybe it would cause more pain for him if she returned. Maybe he needs to move on and take an interest in the girls suggested by M' Lady."  
  
"I know. It must be horrid to live under such rules and regulations. I've heard it's common for men to fall for their Geisha's but most often they are the greedy type that are quite happy to have them as a mistress while taking a wife as well."  
  
"Master Li is not like that. He's very serious about who he gets close to, not just anyone will do. Even when he was younger it took him months to accept me as his nanny. Plus, rumours say that he is still refusing to even meet with the young ladies that his mother proposes. I think he'll..."  
  
The sentence faded as the conversation continued outside the room as the maids carried on with their rounds. Taking it as an all clear, Sakura entered the bedroom, heaving a sigh of relief that she was not found.  
  
That woman seemed to have known me as well. Why can't I remember any of this?  
  
It seemed that she had been a bit pre-emptive in giving herself the go- ahead as she only had only just made it back to the windows when the bedroom door opened once again. The figure that entered was tall and slim. His slender framed glasses gave him an air of intelligence which also seemed endorsed by his general style. His overall appearance reminded Sakura of customers she had meet over the past few months with all the parties she had attended, ones that boosted to having had a good education and were now in high paying and extremely intellectual jobs.  
  
His facial expression showed only the slightest twitch at the shock of finding someone in Syaoran's room, even though, unbeknownst to Sakura, he knew exactly who she was, it was one of the last sights he had expected to see. This expression was short lived as he rapidly regained his calm and collected composure. His gaze did not move off of Sakura who now seemed to resemble a deer caught in a car's headlights as she silently cursed herself for being found.  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, Eriol opened his mouth to speak.  
  
"Would you care to explain?" 


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Found

Chapter Fifteen: Found

"I... I..."

Sakura's mind raced as she desperately tried to come up with an explanation. How had she been so careless as to get herself caught? Now she would be causing Syaoran trouble which wasn't what she wanted after he had been looking after he all this time. Already the feelings of guilt started to well up in her eyes and her only way to help Syaoran was to come up with a plausible excuse for the whole incident.

"I'm the new maid" Sakura blurted out. Her lips has said the words before the thought of it had even entered her mind, but she couldn't turn back on it now.

Luckily, she didn't have to continue, as the door flew open to reveal a breathless Syaoran frantic at the door. Slamming the door shut behind him, his eyes were panicky, jerking about in all directions, and then suddenly widened as they settled on Eriol. He didn't have time to stop though he had been rushing for a reason. Taking both of the other two people by their arms, he dragged them quickly towards the bathroom.

"Look, I'm so sorry about this, but please, you have to hide. My mother is on her way here to discuss me engagement. I'll try to get rid of her as quickly as possible, just lay low okay."

Leaving the two with that quick and quite vague explanation, he shut the bathroom door. Eriol was totally bewildered. First he had come to see if his cousin was in his room, and now he was locked in the bathroom with a former geisha. Why did he have to hide anyway? He actually lived in this house, and it wasn't unusual for him to be in this part of the mansion. His thoughts were interrupted though at the sound of a soft and barely audible voice.

"Engagement? ... But... How? ..."

Sakura looked up at her temporary room mate just as the corners of his lips curved into a grin. This expression was lost on her however. It didn't even register to her mind that he was looking at let, let alone in a room with her. Instead her mind had taken her away into her own imagination. To Sakura, she was alone, completely alone. Her thoughts were a reflection of how she was feeling.

As Eriol observed her current state, there was only one word that came to his mind to describe her – vacant. Of course he didn't mean that she was unintelligent, or empty-minded. He was referring more specifically to the look of her eyes. It was now that he started to believe in that saying which he had heard many times in his life, mostly from Tomoyo.

"Your eyes are the doorway to your soul."

His instinct was spot on. Sakura felt empty. Empty and alone. Her imagination had taking her to a clearing where she stood in the fading light. There was a chill in the air as evening was settling in around her. The prospect of being alone here terrified her but every which way she turned to leave she was greeted by thick dense forest. She was trapped and her only hope was someone to save her. But who was that person and why wasn't he coming? She had been abandoned and forced to face the solitude that was her future.

Physically, her body juddered at the fear of isolation and this managed to shake her senses back into gear. How had hearing the word engagement flow through the air in Syaoran's voice managed to fill her with such an immense fear of being deserted?


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Confessions

Chapter Sixteen: Confessions

Her eyes fluttered open and were greeted by the presence of Syaoran in front of her. He was still slightly blurred in her vision, but she could make out that his lips were moving and she could feel his hands gently holding her arms, shaking them slightly. Gradually his words started to make their way into her ears.

"Sakura? Can you hear me? Please wake up!"

Slowly she managed to pull herself into a sitting position before wrapping her arms around Syaoran. Now that he was here in front of her she didn't want to let go. Not if it meant loosing him and returning to that clearing in the forest. She never wanted to go back there.

"What's all this about? Eriol said you fainted." He was clearly worried and it was only now that Sakura realised that the other man had left.

"I'm sorry I got caught..."

"Don't worry about that. He's my cousin, he knows all about you. Right now I just want to know that you're alright."

Sakura suddenly fell silent. What could she say? She had no right to question Syaoran about his life. She didn't even remember knowing him. It didn't matter what they might have had, if she didn't remember then how could she be sure of any of it? However, this wasn't exactly true. She was starting to remember things. Even if they were only small, like the dress, it was still something.

Her mind continued to argue with itself leading to only more confusion. What ever reasoning she came up with, she also had an excuse for and so on. It didn't take long for her mind to crack and, especially when she saw his eyes looking directly at her full of concern and compassion her emotions erupted, spilling out in every single direction.

"I thought you told me you loved me! Then how could you do such a thing! I believed you and trusted you but it can't have been true can it? You must have been lying."

Syaoran stared in disbelief as Sakura's verbal assault continued.

"How could you really love me? And what am I supposed to do now? I can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for your lies and I really can not believe I accepted everything you said at face value. Never once did I question it. I don't remember the time we spent together before, but gradually things are returning to me. All I do is think about you and it drives me crazy. How could I ever forget about someone like you? How?"

She was practically screaming now and paid no attention to Syaoran's tries to calm her. She had to let it all out - she had to tell him everything.

"If I had been with you before then I never would have let you go. The thought of loosing you is my worse nightmare even though it seems I have only known you a few days. How can I have such strong feelings now if I didn't feel something for you before? I must be remembering. Just give me a chance."

Her she collapsed to her knees and started to weep. Her hands covered her face to catch the falling tears and also managed to muffle her words, which were now reduced to nearly a whisper.

"Please give me a chance" she sobbed.

"Sakura, what are you talking about, I do love you. I did when I first met you and I haven't stopped since. Where did you get this idea?" Guiding her body with his arms, she laid her head on his chest and he held her tightly. It felt so good to have her close, even though these weren't the best of circumstances. "Please don't cry."

Slowly her tears subsided but she kept her head buried within his shirt, not wanted to meet his eyes after her outburst.

"You're engaged, aren't you? Soon you'll be married and I'll mean nothing to you and I can't bear that. I love you."

"W...what did you just say?" Syaoran stuttered in shock.

"I love you, and I don't want you to marry someone else."

Syaoran slide his hand under Sakura's chin and gently got her to raise her head so that they were face to face.

"I'm not getting married to anyone, Sakura. Mother always tries to set up engagements for me, a different one each month, sometimes each week, but I reject them all. You're the only one that means anything to me."

Sakura gasped in disbelief.

"You mean... I just... oh my god, I'm sorry. All of that was so out of place for me to say, why didn't you stop me earlier? Before I embarrassed myself like that!"

"Embarrassed? Does that mean you want to take it all back?" Syaoran suddenly looked hurt.

"Yes... I mean, no... I don't know what I mean. I meant it all but I wish I hadn't just told you like that." She tried to turn her head away again as a blush covered her cheeks but Syaoran was expecting his and instead caught her lips in an embrace before she turn away fully.

As he kissed her, Sakura forgot all about her embarrassment, and basically of everything that had just happened. She welcomed the wave of happiness that spread through each vein in her body. As nice as it was though, it was short lived as Syaoran pulled away to finish what he was saying.

Taking her left hand, he rearranged his position that he was sitting in.

"The only person I want to marry is you, Sakura."


End file.
